I have a problem with my gnomes.?

Ok so I took a few garden gnomes and demesiticated them about a month ago. Now my problem is if I leave Murdoc by himself things disappear like I had these awesome pair of green crushed velvet and green jeweled wedges(shoes) last time I seen them as a pair Murdoc was smelling them. I only have one left. Evertime I have a favorite pair of shoes one will disappear.





I asked Bizzle and Bazzle if they know whats going on and they act like they know something but wont tell me. How do I interigate them without them hating me, or turning on me.





The other day I recieved a letter that stated they last time someone tried to figure out if Murdoc was stealing their shoes the woman mysteriously disappeared as well. The only clues that the cops found was a huge puddle of her blood around the largest tree in her yard.





Should I be scared what should I do.





Do these gnomes look suspicious? Murdoc is the one in the middle.


http://i11.tinypic.com/4pjcwtc.jpg

I have a problem with my gnomes.?
Murdoc looks definitely suspicious, his innocent look cannot hide his smug smile.


If I were you I would be very careful.


We have had a problem with them here, broken flower pots, scared cats, dug up dog bones, hysterical squirrels with plucked tails, tame garden gnomes suddenly seen stealing shoes and socks or pilfering bird seeds. I am afraid that Jiggs and Wiggs may have fallen afoul of Them.


Contact me and I will put you in contact with... ahem... friends of mine.


Your gnomes will disappear for a time. When they will be back they will behave. Repeat offenders are found hanging from bridges. But hush, they listen to doors!





Member of the SSOGT (secret society of gnome tamers)





Note: And thank you for that good laugh :D
Reply:Ok, so my first piece of advice is to not eat so much acid while decorating the homestead, second, eat some mushrooms instead, they are nutricious and magically delicious.
Reply:Divide and conquer.





Split the gnomes into two factions (red hats vs. blue hats?), then arm them to the teeth with guns, knives, bombs and whatever else you can find. Start a rumour amongst the red hats that the blue hats hate them and are going to invade, offer to help the red hats with additional weaponry for certain concessions ... then install a puppet government and let them duke it out. While they are busy slaughtering each other, use the distraction to find your shoes. Then wait till they all but wipe each other out, then use your shoes to pound the last remaining survivors to death ... and you will RULE ONCE MORE!





It's quite easy when you put your mind to it ... i'm surprised you didn't think of it yourself.
Reply:I'd be suspicious of the Travelocity Roaming Gnome if I were you. He's probably in on the plot as well.
Reply:are you schitzo?? i think you should go buy a gun %26amp; guard them until one confesses to what the hell is going on...get some counseling!!!!
Reply:too funny!!!!!!!!!!! They look guilty to me!
Reply:LOL! Thanks for the laugh! You are funny!
Reply:First off darlin, your initial mistake was attempting to domesticate a gnome. Can't be done. This is a life form that is really quite advanced, much moreso than you or I could hope to aspire to. But here are some tips.


Try sprinkling the herb thyme around the home; all fairies love it, gnomes in particular.


Set out a bowl of milk and some buttered bread on the back stoop, or if you have a tree in your yard put it there. Or by a flowerbed or garden that would work equally as well. Do it with REVERENCE, or you will piss them off.


And if all else fails do this; make some oatcakes, or bannocks, with plenty of butter and honey. Milk in a tall glass; a saucer containing about a tablespoon or two of thyme, a poppy jasper and a bouquet of fresh flowers(make sure you came by the flowers honestly). In a private place outside, state aloud that this is an offering for King Ghob, The Gnome King. Thank him for being such a cool guy, and great King....be serious, he'll know if your'e being a smart @$$. Ask for his help; let him know what Murdoc is up to and ask him to speak to the culprits and tell them to cease and desist.


Blessed Be, and hope this helps.
Reply:Umm....well..maybe that he's the only one not sleeping and he has an Axe?
Reply:Um... You're in need of help..








But this made me laugh.. a lot!





I hope you are joking about talking to the gnomes...








Good day. =]
Reply:in the photo he is clearly mocking you, and the two other dudes are obviously part of his gang. what you need to do is get a bag, not a paper bag, but a waterproof bag put one or two heavy stones in it along with those three and tie it securely then find a deep lake and throw it in


make sure it is tied tightly and then you wont be bothered with them again
Reply:Gnomes are cheeky little creatures! That cheeky grin hides a guilty conscience!
Reply:I think Bizzle and Bazzle are trying to set Murdoc up, you may want to check into their histories as well....be afraid, be very afraid.
Reply:One of my friends had a problem similar to this, except she was losing socks not shoes. What she did was she went out and captured another gnome, one that wasn't going to be itimidated by the current alpha male (Murdoc) and together they found out where all the socks were going (some one monopod mushroom folk in the woods behind her yard). Now she just donates whatever socks she doesn;t want to them and everyone is happy.
Reply:Well tell murdoc to give them back or he will have to go outside again
Reply:how many times must i tell u people!!!!!!!Dont trouble gnomes!
Reply:Perhaps you could ask your gnomes if they know what happened to my two. Their names are Jiggs and Wiggs.





They disappeared one at a time . Each of them were carrying lanterns. They were supposed to keep the path to our front door lit up for us at night.





Now that their lantern light is gone I have heard strange sounds outside! Perhaps there is a gnome conspiracy !





I sure miss them and hope they find their way home someday soon. Please ask your gnomes to tell them, if they ever see them, that we miss them dearly and to please return. Thank you.
Reply:wow i have never in my life laughed as hard as i did right now.


Have you ever went to get a psychological evaluation to make sure you are sane? I seriously 100% ddescribe medication or a pet to keep you company. Please for the sake of man kind Go to a therapist or even better a psychiatrist they can get you some really good help!
Reply:I think you have some sort of mantal illlness. Please see a therapist right away.


Hope I helped!
Reply:well the one in the middle one looks very suspicious and i would suggest you get rid of them, and get another ones oh and it also depends for what did you domesticated them because if you are very bossy then they'll bother you one or two times or even forever.
Reply:get new ones.... and say ur sorry when u out them down...go to a pagan store and ask them....



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