Why is it that when one person takes their shoes/socks off at a party and goes barefoot, others always follow?

We had a BBQ in our backyard last summer and when one of the guests took off her shoes and went barefoot, about a dozen others did so too. We don%26#039;t even have a pool.

Why is it that when one person takes their shoes/socks off at a party and goes barefoot, others always follow?
I think that in the past it was largely a phenomenon confined to females; I remember seeing a letter from an advice column in which the columnest stated that she was never offended if a guest removed her shoes, adding that she said her because she%26#039;d never seen a male guest do it. The reasoning was that women wore such uncomfortable shoes it was a relief to get out of them.





I think now the rationale might be slightly different in a time when social standards have become graded down in many circumstances. Once upon a time, for instance, it would have been a given for the hosts of a party to use their best china, whereas now people write to Miss Manners because their guests tell them they should use everyday or even disposable ware. Some people might still wear uncomfortable shoes to parties, but there is a growing air of it being taken as almost unseemly to dress more for elegance than for comfort. Where before it would be rude in company to act as if one were at home, in some circles it%26#039;s almost seen as chilly not to do so.





For indoor parties, there%26#039;s also the carpet question. Many households ordinarily have rules about not wearing shoes in certain rooms, which are likely to be the rooms with the best floors where parties might be held. It isn%26#039;t generally considered quite polite to require that guests remove their shoes, so that many hosts won%26#039;t ask even if they do prefer no shoes in the party rooms. A lot of guests don%26#039;t like to raise the subject, especially if they don%26#039;t know the hosts well, but they%26#039;ll follow suit if someone else goes first.





Interestingly, on the Britcom Keeping Up Appearances, the social climber Hyacinth Bucket makes almost everyone remove his/her shoes at her door except when she%26#039;s entertaining (or for socially important callers such as the vicar or Councillor Mrs Nugent).
Reply:so that%26#039;s where the foul, curious smell in manhattan came from!next time can you please tell your guests to%26quot;please keep your footwear on before you step outside,thank you!%26quot;
Reply:sometimes it%26#039;s hard to wear uncomfortable shoes but you don%26#039;t dare to take them off. When somebody dares you%26#039;re free to follow. Once I was dancing in flip flops, others on heels. When I took my flip flops off many girls took off their shoes. It%26#039;s kind of funny but it means that you should do how you feel and see the others to follow :)))
Reply:perhaps they all wanted to but didnt dare until the other person did it! x
Reply:Many people are afraid to be the first to break social customs. Now over at my place they know they don%26#039;t have to wait %26#039;cause I%26#039;m always barefoot but especially if it%26#039;s a classy event, many people still don%26#039;t want to follow suit, they%26#039;re still afraid of what others may think.
Reply:because they probably wanted to do it too but just didnt want to seem disrespectful and since someone did it noone probably said anything so the others thought there wasnt anything wrong with it and so they probably did it :)



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